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Monday 13 June 2011

Justin Bieber Plays A Super-Intimate Charity Show While Selena Gomez Is In The Hospital!


Some of the luckiest people in the world were at this fundraiser — including MC Hammer!

Justin Bieber is used to selling out massive stadiums worldwide, but he agreed to do a comparatively smaller concert in San Francisco on June 11 for a very good cause!
Justin, 17, sang at Mountain Winery in Saratoga, Calif., while his beloved girlfriendSelena Gomez was suffering at the hospital. But you can’t cancel a show for charity, so Biebs soldiered on!
Tickets for the event ranged from $250 to $1,500 and money raised will benefit College Track, an inspirational program for students who need an academic boost.
Not only was the show more intimate than most, but he also did a meet-and-greet with about 120 fans — and even had a dinner with 13 super-special guests! He even got to meet hilarious rap legend MC Hammer!
That has to be the luckiest audience in the world!

Kris Humphries Makes His TV Debut:

 Recap of the Season 6 Premiere of Keeping 

Up With the Kardashians

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Photo Credit: Freddie Baez/Startraks
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So much for whispering sweet nothings to each other. Kim has to shout just for Kris to hear her from way up there.
Hey there, fanboys and fangirls! — ready for your Keeping Up With the KardashiansSeason 6 premiere recap? Well, there's good news, and there's bad news. The good news is that your regular recapper, Erica, is on a fabulous vacay right now, sipping Champagne cocktails, and having the most amazing time of her life. The bad news is that you're stuck with me, Joe Roch, Kardashian Luddite. Yes, I've somehow coasted through the past 13 years (or however long this show has been on) without so much as even skipping past this show on TV. But don't worry! — having me stumble through this recap, like a manic, one-legged blind person trying to cross the road during rush hour, is going to be like this way-memorable, crazy adventure that we'll share together, just you and me. Years from now, we'll look back fondly on all of this and smile. You'll see!

Okay, let's So Season 6 kicks off by flashing to each of the three Kardashian girl and showing us where they're currently at in their lives.Kim and her enormous new lug of boyfriend, Kris Humphries (thanks, Google!) are having lunch, and recounting how they first met. Because that's what new couples do — especially when there are 12 cameras pointed directly at their faces, and they don't exactly have much else to talk about! Over at Casa de Khloe, the youngest Kardashian tells us how much more amazing life is now that Lamar's season is over.  At Scott andKourtney's home, the eldest Kardashian complains about how it's going to take 10 years to settle into their new pad, while Scott stares at himself lovingly in a mirror. Just a quick poll: As a newbie, am I supposed to hate Scott? Because, even though he hasn't really done much except blow air kisses at himself in the reflection of his enormous stainless-steel refrigerator, I sort of hate his guts already. Let me know if this is a normal reaction.

So after moaning about unpacking, Kourtney turns her seemingly endless complaining over to a new topic: the fact that she only sees her family at business meetings. Which, like, calm down, Kourt! — there are way worse scenarios. Like, if you only saw your family once a year. Or if you only saw them if you visited them in prison. Or if you only saw them in your dreams when you slept, because each and every one of them was gunned down by a rival drug gang. Yes, each of those scenarios is way worse scenario, so maybe count yourself kind of lucky?
Anyway, Kourtney just wants her family to return to a simpler, pre-sex-tape time, when there were no pesky business meetings, and there was just game night. "Why can't life just be one big game night?!" she screams, over and over again. Scott's solution, reasonably enough, is for them to host a game night at their house. Unreasonably enough, he offers to buy every single game that was ever invented — which, seriously, sounds like the most aggressive, un-fun game night ever, and which — spoiler! — is probably why nobody bothered showing up for it. But we'll get to that in a few minutes!
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Photo Credit: Valerie Macon/Getty Images
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Kourtney, Kim, and Khloé enjoy the chance to spend time together on the red carpet.
Next, Khloe heads over to her parents house to talk scheduling and is greeted at the door by an aggressive new assistant named Palm, who foolishly addresses her by her older sister's name. Rookie mistake! Nonetheless, Khlo saunters into the kitchen to join her sisters. The other girls ask Khloe if she plans on giving her future kids "K" names. Khloe says the boys are getting "L" names, like Luke, Loser, and Luxembourg. Then Kim tries to chime in with, "Well, when I marry Kris...". It's a declaration which is immediately met with righteous gasps of shock from her siblings. But before the girls are able to pry out any more information about Kim's way-too-hasty relationship, their mother, Kris, finally emerges from her mega-long conference call.

Later, Khloe and Kourtney debate how long it would take to fill a gigantic, $9,000 Waterford Crystal bowl with their own piping hot urine. Thankfully, the girls quickly lose interest in this great philisophical debate, and begin complaining/wondering why Kim is hogging all of the good "K" names for her hypothetical children. Oh, I don't know, Khloe and Kourtney — maybe because Kim is the only person in your damn family with a legitimate "K" name?

Yikes. Anyway, fast-forward to game night. Kourtney and her hateful, poor-man's-Christian-Bale-in-American-Psycho excuse for a boyfriend are joined by an elderly post-op transsexual that they keep referring to as Bruce — although they fail to mention whether or not it's spelled "Kbruce". Which, given what I've learned so far, doesn't seem entirely out of the realm of possibilities. Anyhow, it quickly becomes clear that nobody else is showing up to play the thousands of games that Scott so thoughtfully purchased. Kourtney and Khloe quickly decide that their evil mother is to blame for these anti-games sentiments.

The next morning, Kris arrives for a high-priority business meeting with some fancy-pants new business partners who are dead-set on meeting Khloe and Kourtney. Unfortunately for Mama K, her daughters are running over an hour late. When Kim calls Kourtney for some answers, she's greeted by Kourt's new assistant, Dottie. Except — wait a minute! — there is no Dottie, just Kourtney putting on the worst fake-voice ever. Kris expertly sees through the whole Dottie charade, and the girls quickly confess that they pulled a no-show in order to teach their mother a lesson. A lesson in what exactly, ladies? That it's okay to waste strangers' time as a misguided way of punishing your mother? Mission accomplished!

Kris flies over to Kourtney's house, and greets her misbehaving daughters with a few well-timed F-bombs. The girls try to defend their bonehead behavior by crying over spilled milk that was their giant fail of a game night (seriously, stop trying to make game night happen, already!), and moaning about how Kris is too busy working to pay attention to them. Disgusted — and rightfully so — Kris storms out of the house, vowing that she'll no longer go the extra mile for her daughters. No, Kris, you shouldgo the extra mile. Go that extra mile, and then keep driving — far, far away, to a place where you never have to listen to your horribly spoiled, poorly-named daughters ever again.

Later, Mama Kris vents to Kbruce about the no-show prank her ungrateful daughters pulled earlier. After a few more minutes of hashing things out, Kris realizes that, while their actions were terribly misguided, her daughters do have an inkling of an iota of a point, and she resolves to have family dinner once a night, every week.
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Photo Credit: FayesVision/WENN
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Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom held a launch for their unisex fragrance Unbreakable on April 4, 2011. Naturally, the Kardashian/Jenners were out in full force. Khloé’s siblings Kourtney, Kim, Rob, Kendall, and Kylie all attended, along with Kris and Bruce Jenner. As always, our favorite reality family looked amazing. We love when there’s an excuse for them to all go out together!
Meanwhile, across town, Kim's pissed that her sister, Khloe, has kept pictures of her ex-boyfriends on her bedside table. Apparently, it's completely disrespectful to her new relationship with Kris. Khloe basically calls Kim "meals on heels", and says that it's impossible to keep track of Kim's boyfriends. Touché! Just when we thought our love for Khloe couldn't get any stronger, she grabs all of the pictures of Kim's fail-bot relationships and smashes them into a million pieces. Classic!

Finally, it's family dinner night over at the Kardashian-Jenner home. Kris tells Khloe that she's being a huge hypocrite for lecturing others about about putting family first while also being so unsupportive of Kim's latest novelty romance. So as Khloe stomps her giant feet upstairs to face the music with Kim, Kbruce greets the other guests at the door. And though Kbruce desperately tries to express joy and excitement at the sight of his family, his frozen tundra of a forehead prevents him from registering any emotion whatsoever.

At last, the entire Kardashian-Jenner clan sits down for the wonderful feast that they mother lovingly paid someone else to prepare for them. Mama Kris makes 19 different toasts, each after the completion of a different glass of wine, and Kim gets an exciting piece of news: Tomorrow's meeting is cancelled and so she's free to fly over to New York. Yay for Kim! Terrible news, however, for the environment — which Kim seems hell-bent on destroying with her near daily-jaunts across the continental US. Carbon footprint, shmarbon schmootprint, eh Kim?

Next, Kim gets up from the table, trips over the thin air that she's single-handedly polluting, and all of her family laughs at her misfortune. And that's that, folks! I officially survived my first ever episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians! Oh, and don't forget to sound off in the comments, and let us know what you thought about the episode.


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